Good mistakes
“Good mistakes”. Is there such a thing? That’s up for debate, but I know that I’ve made one. Actually I’ve made plenty of them, to be frank with you. Because I’ve made plenty of mistakes.
For years I’ve been tormented with a whirlwind of thoughts in my brain about the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I’ve been bullying myself for all my so-called mistakes, for so long. Mistakes like choosing the ‘wrong’ path, not being good enough or not doing enough.
“Forgive yourself, you did the best you could with who you were at the time”.
The mistakes I’ve made in the past have led me to where I am right now, and to be honest I wouldn’t want to change a thing. Those mistakes made me grow as an individual, even when I didn’t realize it at first. Those mistakes steered me into becoming the person I am today, and to where I’m at in life right now. I’m not saying that we all should go and make mistakes just for the fun of it, my point is just that I believe that mistakes are a crucial part of a beautiful life - a part of the plan. The same goes for when life gets tough.
They are one of the most necessary ingredients needed to become a better version of yourself. So, when you fail, or make a mistake, perhaps you hurt someone you love or you’re neglecting yourself - see that as an opportunity for growth.
Move on from your mistakes. The present moment is now.
Perhaps you’ll make the same mistake over and over again, but once you finally learn your lesson, you’ll realize that there is no greater gift than opportunities for growth. That’s why I call them “good mistakes”. They are like nudges from above. A little bit like tough love from the universe.
I learned that the hard way LOL
This is a Nudge for you to read this
Something I’ve been doing recently is that I’ve been ‘nudging’ myself, to push myself in the right direction. To do the stuff I don’t want to do or to change the outcome.
The nudges are so small you barely notice them, but they make such a big difference. It is truly life changing to make smart choices in your daily life, that changes the entire outcome of your day.
What I mean by “nudging myself” is that I for example carry my computer with me to the kitchen when I’m about to eat breakfast, JUST in case I want to write something on here. That way, I don’t have to walk all the way back to my bedroom to get it, which probably won’t happen, unless I feel super inspired to write something. Or, another example is; when I don’t feel like studying I open the document on my computer that I need to read, and just look at it. As it’s in front of me, I start to read one sentence, then another one, and another one. At that point, I might as well read it all, so that’s what I end up doing. Another one is that I leave my book and journal on top of my bedside table, instead of inside of it, so that I can grab it more easily. If I don’t feel inspired to write something in my journal or don’t feel like reading anything, I just start by opening the book, telling myself to write or read “just one sentence” and then all of a sudden I’ve read or written a whole page. Woopsie! How did that happen? I nudged myself! Does this make me sound super lazy?
Nudging yourself is about taking small actions that make other more demanding tasks easier. Nudging yourself is also about starting somewhere. Just start. I know, very cliché, you’ll probably read that sentence in every self-help book ever, but it works.
I wasn’t planning on writing this post, but I nudged myself. I brought my computer into my bedroom with me, opened Google Docs ‘just because’, even though I didn’t plan on writing something, started writing one word ‘just because’, and then magic happened. Now I have a whole post for you to read about the benefits of nudging.
We need to stop letting the world define us
In one of my earlier posts I said that; confidence unfortunately is key, because I believe that the world is a very harsh place to live in. Meaning that we have to believe in ourselves, when no one else does, or else we’ll get stepped on.
As I’m writing it again, I feel like I’m laying out all of my most extreme, pessimistic thoughts about the world, carelessly. Take my opinions with a pinch of salt, but that is indeed my point of view on how today’s world works. “Why?”; would be an interesting question to ask.
In IR we learn about poststructuralistic theory; that we shape the world by how we speak about it, so I feel a little bit bad for putting this out there. Because I don’t want to contribute to shaping the world into a place where we all compete against each other, where we judge each other and step on the weakest link. I’d like to believe that love is all around. While, many pieces of evidence unfortunately tell us the opposite.
Despite that, we can choose to make everyday choices that come from a place of love and kindness. Recently my therapist told me to draw a compass with values on each end, values that I want to apply in my everyday life. Being a loving and kind person is one of them. What are your values? Seriously, think about it. I encourage you to think about why you do the things you do, if they are unconscious choices or if your actions (minor or major) are something that truly aligns with your values.
I think the world works the way it does because we’re all just trying to survive, but what’s the point of it all without loving one another? Sounds cheesy, I know. I just think that’s how I operate to be honest, but again, be yourself!!!
This might just be my messiest post yet, without any point really. What I’m trying to say is that; we shape society, you and I, every day, by minor and major choices that we take, and by how we speak about things. Here I’m doing it again, I’m telling you how the world works, based on my opinion. Be cautious of that when you are watching TikTok, when you are reading an article, or even when you are in class listening to your teacher. Think for yourself. How does the world work according to you? What do you want the world/society to look like?
I know that I’d like for all of us to truly love ourselves as we are. There is so much pressure on us to look a certain way, to the point where a lot of people inject needles into their faces to feel confident in themselves. How can we normalize that? How can we allow ‘beauty privilege’ to be a thing? It’s very much real, and that’s the worst part. I don’t know, I just feel so bad for my younger self, who hated what she looked like, for so long. She had no confidence in herself at all, and that breaks my heart to think about. Surely, I’m not the only one who has felt insecure because of the ‘beauty standards’.
What I’ve realized is that true confidence is when you are fine whether someone likes the real you or not, whether you look like the ‘beauty standard’ or not. But, that confidence can be difficult to find, when the media and society is telling us that we are not good enough.
What I want you to be mindful of, is that; what YOU do or say affects and shapes the world around you. For example, what is portrayed to little girls out there in the world when people they see online are injecting botox and fillers, to look like the ‘beauty standard’?
I’m not trying to shame anyone, because we’re all victims of the world in one way or another, but WE created the system, and we’re the only ones who can change it. I get it, you may want to inject botox or fillers to feel good about yourself, I (especially) can understand that, but you are doing yourself and others a disadvantage by doing so.
Maybe there is a scientifically proven ‘golden ratio’ out there, but who came up with that? We did!!! Maybe it’s based on real facts, but like, we used to be apes??? I think we are able to evolutionize past the so-called ‘beauty standards’. Come on. The argument of ‘basic attraction’ could also be said about the ‘beauty standards’, but the question is; are we attracted to someone/something because it fulfills our ego, or because we actually do find it beautiful? I believe that beauty is something deeper than just looks, and that many of us are just chasing things with our ‘egos’.
We need to stop feeding our egos.
You have the power to change the beauty standards, you can change anything for that matter, even when you think you can’t. What is local is global, and what is global is local.
I’m doing this for all the girls growing up in today’s world. I don’t want anyone to feel the way I did, or to live a life where beauty is the center of life. I agree, beauty can be fun, but it loses its fun when ‘beauty standards’ exist. Portrayed in the media/society as something for girls to achieve, rather than a state of being. I don’t even think I have to argue for that statement. The ‘beauty standards’ are real, and they’re everywhere, nudging us all the time. Yet I feel like NO one is talking about it.
Once again, I hate the beauty standards. It’s time for us to take the power back and not let worldly things define us. The world does not have to be a harsh place to live in.
Post-colonial perspective, feminism, sudan
Something I’m struggling with is the post-colonial aspect of world politics and feminism. I myself am a white woman and I feel torn on how to make a positive impact from where I’m sitting.
I want to spread awareness but also embrace non-Western women. Without becoming a ‘Western feminist’ that tends to portray women in the non-Western world as passive victims, without their own agency, and who thus need to some extent to be “saved” or “liberated”. That is not my mission. I want to embrace all women in all parts of the world, but also raise topics about relevant issues.
I’m bringing this up because I feel obligated to share information and spread awareness about the use of sexual violence as a war tool that is going on in Sudan. It is grotesque. My heart breaks for all of the women in the world who have been sexually assaulted in one way or another.
According to an article written in April 2025 on UN WOMEN’s website;
“The conflict in Sudan has disproportionately shattered the lives of women and girls. Millions have suffered displacement, been stripped of their livelihoods, exposed to soaring levels of gender-based violence, and pushed to extreme hunger.
Women outnumber men as internally displaced persons across all age groups: 53 per cent of internally displaced persons are female. UN reports show there are at least 5.8 million women and girls displaced within the borders of Sudan. Women make up more than half of the 12 million people displaced inside and outside Sudan.
Alarming rise in gender-based violence and sexual abuse: In less than two years, the number of people at risk of gender-based violence has more than tripled. An estimated 12.1 million people, or 25 per cent of the population, are at risk. While cases remain vastly under-reported and services are at a standstill, in 2024 Sudan saw a staggering 288 per cent increase in demand for gender-based violence services, compared to previous year.
Women’s economic insecurity puts them more at risk of gender-based violence: With the collapse of women-led businesses, supply chain disruptions and financial losses, many women who were financially independent now rely on humanitarian aid. Their economic instability makes them even more vulnerable to gender-based violence and sexual exploitation.
Extreme food insecurity for women: Over half the population of Sudan – more than 24.6 million people – are facing acute food insecurity. Food scarcity has been detected in at least five areas, and five more will follow by May 2025 if the current conditions prevail. Women are less food secure than men because, under existing social norms, they often eat last and least after distributing food among other members of the household.
Nearly absent healthcare for women: Close to 80 per cent of hospitals in conflict-affected areas are no longer functioning. As a result, maternal deaths are surging and women and girls also lack access to menstrual health supplies, mental health support and safe spaces. Some 80 per cent of displaced women cannot afford or access clean water because of the distance they must travel and safety concerns.
Women have been excluded from peace talks: Although they are on the front lines, negotiating safe passage for people fleeing violence, providing lifesaving aid, and advocating for peace, women have been excluded from diplomatic talks, including regional and international peace negotiations held previously in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Supported by UN Women, women peace champions have demanded 50 per cent representation in peace processes.” UN WOMEN
believe in yourself
In today’s post I want to encourage the person who’s reading this to believe in yourself.
This is really random, but recently I read an article about a woman named Mia Thomsen, also known as ‘MarathonMia’. This article told the story about Mia who went from not being able to run 1,55 miles, to eventually becoming one of Sweden’s leading ultra marathon runners.
This wowed me. Because, I myself workout quite a bit and some days I struggle to run 1,55 miles, to be honest. To think that I could achieve something similar is mindblowing to me. Just by having grit. Isn’t that an amazing thought?
Often we hear stories about people doing these extraordinary things, thinking that we can’t relate to their story at all. When in fact, the people who are doing all of these extraordinary things, are just ordinary people; with grit.
I hope this inspires you, because Mia’s journey really inspired me. It made me believe in myself a little bit more. When you doubt yourself I want you to think about Mia Thomsen, who once couldn’t run 1,55 miles, and then later in life being able to run hundreds of miles.
The article explained that she at 24 years old had enough of her current lifestyle and wanted to change her life, so she did. So can you. The only limit is yourself, I know, cheesy, but it’s so freaking true.
FUCK the beauty standards
I HATE the beauty standards.
Yet, beauty is all I can think about. I hyper fixate on how I look, every day. I’m ashamed to admit it, because there are so many other important things in life to care about. I wish I didn’t. Maybe I’m the problem, or maybe it’s the world that we’re living in.
I think I became this way because I never used to feel beautiful. When I was younger, boys didn’t really take me seriously, I was never considered to be the ‘pretty’ one in my friend group, my sister always made fun of my nose. You can feel it, even when no one is saying it out loud; you’re ‘ugly’. So, to be honest, everyday I go above and beyond just to feel beautiful, so that I’ll feel confident. Because, as they say, confidence is key, right? Unfortunately I feel like it is, in this very harsh world.
I agree that we all should feel confident in our own skin. We should love ourselves. But, what happens when we don’t? And, why do we struggle to? To answer the second question; because of the stupid fucking beauty standards.
That’s why I hate them. They make me feel like I’m supposed to look a certain way, when in fact, there is no ‘right’ way. Yet, we praise people for their ‘attractive’ looks on social media. And usually, they all look the same. Or, Am I wrong? ‘Body-positivity’ exists, but, the plus-size models have faces that fits within the facial beauty standard instead. Where is the representation of other facial features in media?
It’s sad, because the beauty standards are so powerful, that they mess with your self love. It’s just not confidence that gets lost, it’s life too.
I also want to point out, that I do think that ‘beauty’ can be something fun, and that fashion, makeup etc, is indeed a form of expressing yourself creatively, but, what bothers me is when big corporations/society consistently forms ‘beauty’ as something to achieve, rather than including all different types of faces/bodies in their frame of what ‘beautiful’ is. To tell us that we’re already beautiful as we are, but they don’t.
I HATE the beauty standards.
Mental health
Today I want to touch briefly on the topic; mental health. It’s something that I’ve been struggling a great deal with throughout my life.
I’ve had pits of depression and dealt with tons of anxiety. To be honest, it’s always a constant battle inside my mind. Especially, as I’ve been struggling with anxiety A LOT lately.
I just want you to know that you are not alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy - and let’s face it, sometimes I probably am. Because anxiety truly messes with your head.
Lately, I’ve had to fight my anxious thoughts literally. Every. Single. Second. Of. My. Day. (No kidding). While dealing with life in general. It’s been rough, but I’ve managed to get through it, over and over again. Day after day. It sucks, but better days are waiting ahead, as nothing is temporary.
I just wanted to share this, to remind you (and myself) that whatever you are going through will pass, and life will make sense again. Never. Give. Up.
Life bs
I’ve been feeling lost. Uncertain of what my purpose in life is. Uncertain of my future and what I want to accomplish and experience before my time on this beautiful earth comes to an end. I’ve been feeling down, anxious and stressed. The thought of life with all its responsibilites has stressed me out, to the point where I’ve not been enjoying the present moment. I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself to become ‘the best version of myself’. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to keep working on my self-love journey, but, lately it has been bringing me down, instead of giving me life.
I’ve lost focus on the important things in life. To give back to the world. To contribute to society. To help people. To make just one person's day better. I realized, THIS is what gives me life. Writing about life, sharing my thoughts and encouraging others to go out there and thrive, in whatever way that makes sense for you who is reading this. For so long I didn’t believe in myself, and to this day I still struggle with my self-esteem. It’s a constant battle in my mind where I have to fight the negative thoughts about myself, every single day.
Especially in today’s society, where there is so much pressure in every corner of the internet nudging us to follow the crowd. Nudging us to look a certain way or to live a certain life. Sometimes those nudges are for the better, others for the worse. It’s hard not to be tempted to look at yourself with sceptical eyes, comparing yourself. Heck it, it’s hard to feel good about yourself sometimes! Societal pressure is a bitch.
I feel like in today’s society we are so occupied with building a nest for ourselves that we forget what is truly important in life, what I believe, is to help others. I myself included forget that. Sometimes I focus on myself way too much. That’s why I’m writing this, because if I can help just one person reading my blog, I’ll feel successful. That to me, is real success.
Life is effing hard, and we need to look out for each other. Even though we’re all in the same rat race, competing against each other. Take this as your sign to show more love, to a loved one, a stranger, or to the person looking at you in the mirror. Life is a bitch, but you don’t have to be one.
Lastly, believe in yourself, you can do it. Why wouldn't you? Literally, WHY would you not believe in yourself? It doesn’t serve you any good not to, so go out into the world and TRY. You got this.
Why are we so afraid of not being beautiful enough?
Let’s talk about beauty standards.
What purpose do they serve in today’s world? What difference does the definition of beauty really make? Is beauty power? Or does beauty have power over us?
I’m a 22-year-old woman — the perfect victim of the so-called “beauty standards.” I face them every single day. Every time I open Instagram or TikTok, watch a show, through ads, or even when I walk down the street, I’m reminded — This is what you’re supposed to look like.
We live in a digital age where influencers dominate our screens and algorithms feed us curated images 24/7. We’re being constantly influenced — whether we realize it or not. Every scroll, every click, every subtle comparison… it adds up. I hate it.
I’m currently studying International Relations, and we’ve touched on this subject in a broader context — how systemic structures influence our behavior, thoughts, and even our self-worth. And beauty standards? They’re one of the most powerful forms of social control out there.
And yet, even with this knowledge — even as I sit in lecture halls and critically analyze power structures, systems of control, and global inequalities — I still find myself in front of the mirror, doubting my worth based on how “beautiful” I feel. That’s the paradox of it all. Awareness doesn’t necessarily free you.
Beauty standards are not random. They are socially constructed, historically shaped, and constantly evolving. What was considered “ideal” a decade ago may now be outdated, and yet we’re always running — sprinting — toward an ever-changing finish line. It’s exhausting.
In the modern world, beauty isn’t just aesthetic; it’s political. It’s economic. It’s used as a tool — or rather, a weapon. From a business perspective, industries thrive on insecurity. Cosmetics, skincare, fashion, diet culture, plastic surgery — they’re all billion-dollar machines fueled by our fear of not being enough. They sell us a problem, and then sell us the “solution.” And we buy it — sometimes willingly, sometimes unknowingly.
Is beauty power? In some ways, yes. Conventionally attractive people are often granted more opportunities, more attention, more perceived credibility. It’s unfair, but it’s real. Beauty can open doors — socially, professionally, even romantically. But the flip side is darker: when beauty is power, and only a narrow version of beauty is accepted, that power becomes exclusive, elitist, and oppressive. It stops being empowering and becomes imprisoning.
The pressure to conform isn’t just emotional — it’s physical, psychological, and deeply gendered. As a woman, I feel like my body is constantly on display, whether I like it or not. There’s a silent expectation to perform femininity in a certain way. But here’s the truth: we have to stop being afraid of not fitting into the beauty standard. We have to stop shrinking ourselves to fit into a mold that was never made for us in the first place.
What frustrates me the most is how internalized it all is. So many of us, myself included, have absorbed these standards so deeply that we sometimes police ourselves and each other. We compare, we compete, we criticize. It’s a cycle that benefits no one — except the industries and systems profiting from our insecurities.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way.
We’re starting to see movements pushing back — diversity in media, unfiltered content, and real conversations about self-worth and representation. It’s slow, and the backlash is real, but it’s happening. The more we talk about it — openly, honestly, and critically — the more power we take back.
So yes, beauty has power. But maybe it’s time we reclaim that power — redefine it, expand it, or even reject the need for it entirely. Because we are so much more than how we look. We are minds, souls, voices, ideas, histories.
And that’s what I want to hold onto — not the impossible standards set by a profit-driven system, but the power of being fully, unapologetically human.